Too Late
by Shadowed Horizon
Summary: For all eternity...Sixty years ago, it wasn't a question. Now, she has to live with her decision. Bella-centric. One-shot.


Edward was out, accompanying Renesmee as she went hunting. He hadn't wanted to leave me alone in the house, but I had rolled my eyes and shoved him out the door. I told him that since our daughter was only here for a visit, he should take advantage of every father-daughter bonding opportunity he could. "Especially," I snickered, "since Jacob's coming here soon to pick up his, you know, soul mate." That was when I shut the door in his shocked face, bolted it, and ran laughing upstairs. I heard him growl and knew he could break open the door in a heartbeat, but he ran off instead to catch up with Renesmee, shouting idle threats back at me.

I was sitting on the ledge of the bay window in our bedroom, looking out over the forest surrounding our property. I admired the way the leaves rustled in the breeze, each one moving independently but together it looking like a green ocean. Northern Vermont, close to the Canadian border, was certainly beautiful. Edward and I couldn't have chosen a better place to live together.

After half an hour or so, the wind began to die down. The forest was full of the sounds of chipmunks chattering and crows cawing, though, so I decided to stay a little longer to listen. But the silence in the five-bedroom house that we had built together was beginning to bother me. I wasn't breathing, so I couldn't even hear the faint echoes of wispy breaths.

My mouth turned down when I came to this realization. Edward and I had been living in the forests for so long that I was starting to forget basic human habits. We were spared from going into town often because visiting family would bring us more books and clothes than we knew what to do with (usually it was Alice's doing). It didn't hurt that we somehow had internet access, despite being in the middle of nowhere. Knowing how Edward did it wasn't something I was interested in, even after sixty years.

I sighed and left my perch by the window. _Where did I leave the phone?_ It wouldn't surprise me if Renesmee had used it to call Jacob. Even after forty-five of having a socially acceptable relationship, those two would pine when separated, even if she was only with her parents for the week. I grinned though; how could I blame them? After more than sixty years together, Edward and I were exactly the same.

The phone was hidden under the couch cushions. I plopped down and lifted a finger to press the keys, then stopped. Who could I call? Rose and Alice were both flying to Milan. They both wanted to look at the trends in European fashion, but Rose wanted to take a look at cars too. Of course Jasper and Emmett were with them. Their flight had left just an hour ago and wouldn't land for several more. I knew Edward kept his cell phone on him, but I wanted to maximize the pair's alone time before Renesmee had to leave. Carlisle and Esme were off traveling. They were on a private boat, and I had no idea on which sea they were now. Plus, I wasn't sure if they had service

A number surfaced suddenly in my mind. I eagerly punched it in, and when the line connected, I was ecstatic. I caught myself blinking rapidly and taking quick, shallow breaths.

"Hello?"

If my heart had been beating, it would have flown out my ribcage and landed on the floor twenty feet away. Even now, I felt a thud in my chest cavity. The voice had a Seattle accent.

"Uh, hello?"

I pushed the button to end the call and dropped the phone on the floor. The battery panel cracked open and fell off, but I hardly noticed. I was crying, huge, ripping sobs that I had never experienced before. Even though my human memories were blurry, I knew that I had never before known such hurt. I also knew that the accent was much more pronounced than the one I had been expecting.

"Dad," I cried, "oh, Dad." It was the first time I had ever called him this, even while he was living. I should have known that he wouldn't have picked up the phone. The sad truth was that, apart from the Cullens, Hales and Quileutes, I had no one to talk to. And even the Quileutes were getting older. Even though they were more or less immortal, Jacob was definitely looking like he was in his thirties. Sam was much older; he had given up his Alpha duties to live naturally with Emily, and they were now about eighty. Now that Edward and our daughter were out, I felt acutely the pain that I had successfully beaten down for so long.

I cried for a long time, drawing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms tightly around them. I regretted that I couldn't feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, the snot building up in my nose, my eyes puffing up. Even though it made me look a mess, it was at least something a human could do. It only made me more aware of what I had lost.

This wasn't the first time I had regretted becoming a vampire. But back then, Edward and I were newlyweds and Mom and Dad were still alive. Back then, when everything was fine...

But now, Edward and I had just passed our sixtieth anniversary and were no longer in the lovey-dovey stage of our relationship. Mom and Dad were long gone. Dad went first, and I had had Alice apply heavy makeup to my face to give the impression that I was older. I had managed not to cry, but I had been close to breaking down and trying to bite him to make him come back. Mom followed a few years later, and chose to be buried alongside her first husband in the Forks cemetery. She and Phil had divorced years prior.

And now, I was alone. Edward was the perfect husband. But at times, I thought it was weird that we still looked like teenagers and been married for so long. And sometimes, I got frustrated at his overprotective nature. But he was a great companion, and he was always so thoughtful. Just the same, I was finally realizing what Rosalie meant when she tried to talk me out of becoming a vampire so many years ago.

She had asked if I could live with only Edward by my side, for all eternity. Of course, I had replied. How foolish I was. How true the expression, "wisdom comes with age", was. How unfortunate that I was only understanding it now. At eighteen, who was I to judge that I would be okay with outliving everyone I had grown up with? At eighteen, how could I plan my long future without living it? Though Edward and I were the perfect match, we had only known each other for a year before marrying.

I wiped at my eyes, disconcerted when my arm came away dry. I thought it odd that the one human habit I hadn't used for so long was the one I remembered most clearly; I still wasn't breathing. I noticed that the sky outside had darkened. Edward and Renesmee would be home soon. I heaved a deep, shaky sigh. I was thankful at least for the fact that my outward appearance was unchanged. Hopefully, Edward would not notice anything.

A silly thought. There was no way he wouldn't. Edward had been in tune with me from the moment we met in biology class all those decades ago. He knew me as well as I knew myself, if not better. _This is the man you married_...

I put the battery cover back in its place on the phone and placed the phone back on its charger.

_...for better or for worse..._

I made my way to the bathroom to fix my hair and make sure I didn't look as bad as I felt.

_...in health and in sickness..._

I went outside to await my daughter and my husband, my forever.

_...till death do us part._

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

So it's 12:33 am and I had school in 8 hours. But once I got writing, I couldn't stop. I am so going to regret this when I wake up...

Anyway, I started thinking about what would happen if Bella regretted what had happened. I've never been a fan of how fast their relationship evolved, especially at such a young age. It's so scary to think that you'd be willing to throw away the rest of your life for someone you just met without even knowing what else there is.

I know that Bella didn't get a change to choose to be changed, but it works better for this story if she did. Also I say that her memories are blurry, but I reference a few things from her human life. I'm tired though, don't judge me. Plus it worked better.

Your thoughts?

-S.H.


End file.
